If you sometimes feel overwhelmed by fear, you’re not alone. And if sometimes it prevents you from doing the things you want to do, believe it or not, you’re not abnormal. This is a common problem faced by many people daily.
Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful. A lot of people I talk to confess to facing this culprit every now and again, and a lot succeed by shutting him/her up in order to progress with their goals. Easier said than done, ey!
What people sometimes fail to realize is that fear is nothing more than a conditioned response. It’s a natural reaction to a frightening or unfamiliar situation. While it is usually automatic, there are things we can do to overcome it.
- IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER
Why do you have those fearful thoughts? How often do you have the thoughts? When you’ve answered this, isolate the specific aspects of the situations that trigger your fearful thoughts. What’s the worst that could happen? Change the way you look at these triggers and you will immediately change the way you react.
- LISTEN TO YOUR INNER TALK
One major contributor of fear is the frequency of negative expectations. Monitor your inner conversations. Do you usually find yourself expecting the worst in every situation? Do you worry obsessively about what could go wrong, rather than focusing on your strengths and capabilities?
If yes, you need to make a conscious effort to expect the best, or see the positive side of each situation and keep reminding yourself that you can handle more than you often think. In so doing you’ll find yourself with much less fear to deal with. Even if feelings of fear do manage to creep into your consciousness, you’ll still be able to keep them in perspective and balance them against an underlying sense of confidence.
- DISCREDIT YOUR FEARS.
Experts say the majority of things we fear will never come to pass anyway. While this may be true, it sure doesn’t feel that way when you’re in fear! However, if you look a little more closely at your fears when they arise, you may be able to dismiss at least a few.
E.g, if you have a fear of public speaking and your boss wants you to give a presentation at work, you might feel like your life (and perhaps your livelihood) is on the line. You may fear getting fired, or worry that your colleagues will lose respect for you if you don’t do a good job.
But is any of this likely to happen? In most cases, no. Rather than worrying about what “might” happen if you don’t give a solid presentation, you might want to brainstorm ways to help improve your performance, such as being well prepared, practicing your delivery on friends and family members, writing notes to yourself and so on.
- SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION
See the reality of the situation for what it is. Be rational and get clear on the facts. Soul search and explore your perception of the situation at hand.
- BECOME AN OBSERVER
When you observe something, you do it from a detached place. So if you become an observer of your fear, then you’re not in it and reacting instinctively.
- KNOW WHERE FEAR LIVES IN YOUR BODY
Be in tune with where your fear lives in your body. Use it as an indicator to tell you when something needs to be addressed. What you are aware of you can act on.
When you feel fear, conjure up a picture of something or someone you love. Keep repeating this and soon your brain will associate your fear trigger with something much more pleasurable.
- CONSIDER THE WORST
Imagine the worst that can happen and come up with strategies that avoid or lessen the likelihood of it happening. What can you put in place to ensure that the worst-case scenario never happens? OR if it happens, how can you lessen the pain?
- LOOK AT THE GLASS HALF FULL
Perception is a very powerful thing. And how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success.
- DO THE VERY THING YOU FEAR
When you remember that fear is simply a feeling, it loses much of its power. It can’t harm you and except in truly threatening situations you can choose to ignore it and move forward anyway.
If you weigh the pros and cons in any situation, you may decide that the possibility of negative consequences is minimal so there’s nothing to stop you from ignoring your fear and going for it! This will be determined by you on a case by case basis, of course. The point isn’t to become reckless with your decision-making but rather to empower yourself to know when a fear is groundless and easily overcome.
- MAKE IT SAFE
Fear happens in the emotional part of the brain, it’s natural to act instinctively. So when fear rises, break the fear cycle by stopping, creating space and breathing. This will give you time to calm down and allow your rational brain time to catch up.
When you feel safe, there is no need for fear. This is one of the best ways to overcome fear – creating the safest environment possible. And that’s why it’s important to practice, practice and practice again.
To Summarize: Don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your goals and highest potential this year. Stay motivated. Change the way you think.
If you’d like some extra support and inspiration check out my post on 10 Empowering Beliefs That Make Me Strive
Do you find yourself living in fear sometimes? Can you relate to any of the above ways to keep those fearful thoughts at bay? Would love to hear your thoughts/comments.
I love #8 “Perception is a very powerful thing” i admit that when i am confronted with fear i tend to lean on the negative side. It took a lot of practice to convince myself that over coming fear is to face it with an attitude that you can conquer. Thank you for all these tips. Great read!
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Thanks for stopping by Mei! And i was the same re leaning on the negative side but the more I spoke and saw myself overcoming, the better i dealt with things.
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#4 is a big one for me. I often need to step back and need to think about things. Thanks for this article!
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Yeah it helps to do that ey! Thanks for stopping by
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#4-SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION!–is one I struggle with a LOT! This is what people have called “Understanding the situation.” When I am able to see the facts, things become a lot more clearer, and the fear often dissipates to a reasonable level.
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Agree! Understanding the situation changes how we think and react to the situation at hand.
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This ties into a few things I have going on. One is a book I am reading now on Zen meditation and how to understand happiness. Happiness is understanding the fears and worries around you and know that it’s situational. See the glass as half full and find what makes you unhappy and set a plan on how to limit that. The second is a book I am actually writing on the secret to life. You have some great points to offer and I can try to adapt some of them for my son who struggles with fear at times.
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Thanks for sharing Blogging Father. AND totally agree re finding what makes you unhappy and setting plans to limit that. It’s so important in this life where anything can trigger something in us.
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I think that it’s important to rid ourselves of fear because it can be debilitating and prevent us from living a healthy life. Sometimes we have to move past our fear and do what we fear regardless of our internal apprehension. Good post.
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That’s right Sonyo. Totally agree. Thanks for reading.
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This definitely rang true to me! I always find myself nervous for things like speaking in front of others even though I’ve done it a ton of times – it’s crazy how your mind can trick you into wanting to feel one way!
Birdie Shoots
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That’s right Kelly. The mind can play tricks on us even when we know there’s nothing to fear really. I have that happening to me at the moment BUT i know I’ll make it to the other side.
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It takes a great deal of courage to overcome fear. Not everybody can face their fears and attempt to do things that scare them. You have shared some great advice.
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Thanks PrettyMummaSays
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Such a great list!! Fear is a powerful thing and can be the reason we don’t move forward in life or with things we want to accomplish so these tips are awesome!!
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Thanks Erin and totally agree we can fail to move forward coz of fear!
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I love the tip for allowing the rational brain to catch up. I would love for you to add this to my Tip focused link party.
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Sure Elise.
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I love how you described #12, make it safe. It’s so true, and this is one thing I’m starting to work on. I don’t want my fear to take over or control my reaction. 🙂
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That’s right! If you make it safe you can work on how you react as such dealing with the situation better. x
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Ohh, thank you for this, have bookmarked it for when I need to remember these. I always do number 7 but some seem to think of it as negative, whereas to me it’s a comfort. OK, if we can’t afford to pay for this, what is the worst that can happen? When you think like that, you realise it’s really not so bad.
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Totally agree Amanda. We hate considering the worst but when we do we seem to better handle things coz more often than not, it’s not as bad as it sounds/looks.
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These are wonderful tips! All very important to keep in mind 🙂 thanks for this post
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You’re welcome TheRamblingMum. Thanks for stopping by x
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Tip #9 is my cure for fear!
I can’t stand being fearful. I feel the instant need to go and try out what I am fearful about!
Great tips by the way.
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Thanks ey! And what a great thing doing that very thing you fear! You’re brave! x
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Great post! All good points but I like #8. Many times the way we look at the situation can make it worse if it’s the “glass half empty” perspective.
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That’s right Sweet Coralice.
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you are so spot on with these tips and descriptions!
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Thanks Jasmine! x
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This article is very helpful, and I do believe strongly in listening to your inner talk. It’s incredible how powerful our minds are and most of the time we don’t even take into consideration that we can be either our biggest cheerleader or our worst enemies!
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Carissa I totally agree. Inner talk is powerful. It can determine how far we go in life.
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These are great tips. I love thinking of the worst case and then figuring out how bad is that really.
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Yes Emily, and most of the time after thinking the worst case scenario you’ll either realise it’s not as bad as you thought or there’re ways around any situation you’re not comfortable with.
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I definitely focus too much on my inner monologue of all the things that could go wrong. Sometimes it’s almost overwhelming, these tips are fantastic and will really help me with my fears!
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Thanks Annie x
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Fear is a dreadful thing. It takes alot to come out of it but once you do, it’s empowering. Thank you for sharing!
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Thanks for reading @echoesofhervoice x
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I lived in fear for many years after I was kidnapped and molested as a child. Now I am taking back my strength, my life, and telling my story. I actually wrote a post similar to this about managing panic. You can read it here if you’re interested 🙂 https://www.eddiekedge.com/single-post/2017/04/23/NEWBS-GUIDE-TO-MANAGING-PANIC
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Thanks Eddie. And good on you taking back your strength and sharing your story. I’m sure there’re many people out there who will benefit from it. Will definitely check out your post.
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This was a great post about dealing with fear and methods you can use to not let it rule your life.
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Thanks Thewanderingdarlings. Appreciate you stopping by x
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“Do the very thing you fear” that’s what i’m doing right now. I have really bad PTSD and anxiety with driving in the highway and I live in California so I really have to be going around, i’m still trying…
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You do it a few times LittleBee you’ll realise there’s nothing to be afraid of! Good on you working on it!
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These are really great tips. It’s so sad when people or animals live in fear. I work with a lot of fearful dogs and it just breaks my heart.
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True it’s heartbreaking ey!
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I totally needed this! Thank you for sharing and for inspiration to be more brave. xo
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You’re welcome! Thanks for reading. Hope they’ll come to good use. x
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